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Asparagus ofinicalis.

A vegetable that was once savoured
by the ancient Greeks and Romans.
       Good for them.

It's my first time; and I'm apprehensive.

Four small trees sit on my plate.
They're awaiting their crown
of ghee and mashed egg.

They sit there; menacing.
Taunting me, waiting for my reaction.

The condiments are passed around.
It's my turn next.

Mission: Garnish said vegetable.
Ghee; drizzled. Egg; smothered.
Task executed.

The drinks have been toasted,
good health was wished for all.

Cutlery is gently knocked
against our plates as
we prepare for the meal.

Dinner has begun.
I'll start with them and
get it over as quick as possible.

My fork penetrates the thick green skin
of the stalk.
I take my first cut.

My Father tuts.
No, no! I'm doing it all wrong!

Did he expect me to take lessons before we sat down?

He instructs me;
start from the end and
work your way up to the head.
That way, the taste gets better.

It was obvious by now, that I wasn't an asparagus eater by nature.

He nods; go on, try.

I'm not convinced but
I decide to proceed correctly.

Only because I don't want an audience while I eat.

I can hear them s      ing on the plate.
She can't even cut us up properly!

Oh shut up.

My parents look up, bewildered.
   I shake my head.
They go back to their conversation.

At Christmas you laughed at me from your dish.
Said I couldn't handle you.
I'll show you.

Slice.

There's a piece on my fork now.
Well I wasn't going to snort it up.

The stainless steel fork
glints in my face.
With a reflection of green and yellow and white.

I never knew we had such shiny cutlery.

Oh bugger it.
Ghee's dropped onto my shirt.
A napkin; waved in my direction.

A muttering of thanks.

The asparagus are in fits now.
They can't believe I managed to do that.

I'm thoroughly annoyed by now.

In it goes.
Like an aeroplane.

Out comes the fork.
Bare in all it's shiny glory.

It's in my mouth now.

The jaw clamps.
And bitter juices spurt through my mouth.
Shaking my taste buds
and making them scream for the egg.

Up and down. Up and down.
Swallow.

It's gone.
I've survived.

Three more left.

And they all tasted really good.
This is not meant to be taken seriously, people. I wrote it for fun; something to cheer me up.

Actually, Neui suggested it in my last journal comment. She challenged me; I have delivered.

It was really fun to write; you can complain all you want about it - it doesn't matter to me.

As always; comments are much appreciated. Just be light-hearted about it!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconneui:
Neui Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011  Student General Artist
Oh goodness... It's been ages. I can't even remember how I replied to this, although I'm sure back then I had trouble reading it (I had major issues with focus, so it was a pain reading things others wrote). Anyhow, you did do an excellent job with this miss Togey. I hope all is well with you ^_^
Reply
:iconrealthe:
realthe Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2008   Writer
Lol it's a bit late *about two years late* but I just love this poem! Great job!
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2008
Thank you so much for the comment and the :+fav: !
Reply
:iconrealthe:
realthe Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2008   Writer
no problems! :D
Reply
:iconkatiezgreatie:
katiezgreatie Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2007  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Asparagus. -Sigh of content.- I loved this, hehe. :) I also love asparagus! Infact, there's a big bundle in the fridge waiting for me to cook it up, and stuff it down my throat. :D You must try how we cook it.. my mom did this once and I love it.. she put some.. lemon-flavoured feta in it, and sauteed em. have them like that all the time now, heh. /rambling. Anyway, i was making an asparagus charm out of sculpey and i looked on DA for a reference, came upon this. I'll fave when i get on the computer. My phone is lacking that link. hehe. :D
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2007
Asparagus is delicious, I agree. Your recipe sounds tasty too, I'll be sure to try it out. (=

Thank you for the comment and the :+fav: =)
Reply
:iconkatiezgreatie:
katiezgreatie Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2007  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
You're welcome.. :)
And I actually messed up said recipe, there's a bunch of spices and other things in it. :P Heh.
Reply
:iconmahoutragicqueen:
MahouTragicQueen Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2007
I love the description.
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2007
Thank you so much. (=
Reply
:iconskaterchick469:
skaterChick469 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2007
COMPLAIN
lol :+fav:
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2007
Hah, thanks.

Is the star just a symbol of how you like it or did you mean to fave and not get around to it? xD

Thanks for the comment!
Reply
:iconparentheses:
parentheses Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2006
:lol:

I've never tried asparagus... I suspect that when I do, I'll remember this, and I won't be able to keep a straight face. =P
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2006
Well I'm glad my humble piece will play a part in your vegetable tasting. ^^

Thanks a lot, for the :+fav: too. =)
Reply
:iconraftrider:
Raftrider Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2006
I love :innocent: asparagus..
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2006
You do? I like it, not my favourite vegetable but it's up there with a couple others.
Reply
:iconjobi-j:
Jobi-J Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2006   Writer
Hey... this is exactly the kind of poetry I like. I read it as oral sex.

give us some more innuendo!
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2006
Read it whichever way you like. I'm glad you liked it - and thanks for the fave!

Time, dear child, time.
Reply
:iconjobi-j:
Jobi-J Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2006   Writer
time?


0_o LOST. . let's get randy.
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2006
Yeah, I haven't got the time at the moment to think about anything, let alone find the inspirtaion for a new piece. xD
Reply
:icondramapoet173:
dramapoet173 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2006
I seriously love this. It is exactly what goes on in one's head when trying new foods. I made me grin a whole lot. If I can just figure out how to favorites things, yours is first on my list. Oh, and I've never actually eaten asparagus. I will take your word on it being good.
Unrelated postscript: I love your signature. :)
Reply
:icondramapoet173:
dramapoet173 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2006
I seriously love this. It is exactly what goes on in one's head when trying new foods. I made me grin a whole lot. If I can just figure out how to favorites things, yours is first on my list. Oh, and I've never actually eaten asparagus. I will take your word on it being good.
Unrelated postscript: I love your signature. :)
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2006
Thank you so much! I'm glad it made you grin, that was the idea behind it. =D Oh, and thanks a bunch for adding it to your favourites list - that means a lot.
I suggest trying it though - it won't kill you. Unless you're allergic. Then my advice would be baaad.

Hey, thanks. ^^
Reply
:iconbananasunshine77:
BananaSunshine77 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2006
That is absolutely hysterical!!!!!!
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2006
Thanks a bunch!
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2006  Professional Writer
:mwahaha: :+favlove:

(And for the record, I love asparagus. Even without ghee.)
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2006
Thanks so much!

(Ever had it with mashed boiled egg? It tastes good with that :nod:)
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2006  Professional Writer
No; I may have to try that. :hungry:
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2006
I reccomend it. :)
Reply
:iconneui:
Neui Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2006  Student General Artist
:+fav:** (whoops!)
Reply
:iconneui:
Neui Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2006  Student General Artist
BRAVO! :clap:


lol, great job with the sillly challenge I gave you.. uh oh.. crap... does that mean I'm next?? :ohmygod: eh.. *hehe* well, it's all in the timing isn't it?

you know what.. i think i'm going to have to :+fav+ this.. it was good, good job!!:nod:
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2006
:rofl: Thanks. Haha, you didn't have to fav it, it was fun to write. ;)

And yes! It's your turn now, just let me think of something...



Eh...



Hrm...




Ahh.....




Fish! Yes; anyway you like; alive, gold, farmed; wild; breaded; battered.

It's a crap theme but it was the best thing I had.
Trust me, if was either that or a cup. o.O
Reply
:iconfudging:
fudging Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2006
What happened to all the cows?
Anyway, I like this more than your other stuff; originality > serious
Plus I think your av's the best you've had yet :) Now stick with it.
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2006
What cows? :o
Thanks. It was fun to do.
Really? Why? You didn't like The Pilsbury Dough Boy? xD
Reply
:iconfudging:
fudging Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2006
Nuu, you changed your av D: Not terribubble but the last one was bestest.
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2006
I know. D= But it was violating copyright apparently, so I had to chnage it. I really liked that one too. =/

xD I didn't think you'd like it to be honest. (The little blue people, not the cookie one. I want the blue people back =()
Reply
:iconfudging:
fudging Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2006
I wanna make you an av. But you'd only keep it a day at this rate so it's not worth it.
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2006
Make me an av. (= I'd keep it for an absurdly long time if it was worth keeping, which I'm sure it would be if you made.

Am I appealing to your generous side yet? I'll go down another notch on the "pretty please" scale, but if you make me keep going, I'll stop.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconneui:
Neui Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2006  Student General Artist
:lmao:

literally, thank you!! It's quite fun to laugh ones ass off.. I think I dropped a few pounds from that!!

aw.. so is that my challenge?
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2006
No, unless you already started - then carry on! But I was thinking (don't look so shocked), would you prefer to do one on your starsign?
Reply
:iconneui:
Neui Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2006  Student General Artist
I could do that too.. my friend let me borrow some books based on starsign.. including how to tell a bastard by his starsign!! lmao.. it was quite funny.. I could do that.. are you giving me a time limit?
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2006
Righteo! We're set then - I shall be looking out for something soon then. I give you.. 5 days? Is that enough? If you're busy, you can have 8. :giggle:
Reply
:iconneui:
Neui Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2006  Student General Artist
lol, thanks!
Reply
:iconpentogram:
pentogram Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2006
No problem. ;)
Reply
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:iconpentogram: More from pentogram


Featured in Collections

How Poetic by HaveTales-WillTell

Fall.
                                                We always fall
                                                                                together.

                                                We fell
                                                                in love
                                                                with each other.
And later, when
You fell
                out of love
                with me
(and fell
                under her spell)
                                                                                I fell
                                                                                                from the pedestal
                                                                                                you'd put me on.
                                                                                I fell
                                                                                                from cloud n

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June 20, 2006
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